Domestic Abuse in Malaysia. In My Own Home.

As I’m typing this post, my head is still reeling from the events of last night. I wasn’t planning to write a post today, considering I’m still sick with flu & fever, but I need to get this story out of my head while the memories are still fresh in my mind.

I live in a 3 bedroom apartment, and one of the rooms is occupied by a couple. For the past few of days, every single night, I could hear the boyfriend yelling at his girlfriend, screaming, banging the walls, throwing things around, and the girlfriend would be crying and screaming too. Usually when this happens, I lock my room door, and wait for it to pass. I assumed it was a lovers argument, and I left it at that.

Yesterday night around 11pm, I was in my room, on the phone with my boyfriend, when the banging and screaming started again. This time around, the scenario sounded very different. I could hear her boyfriend screaming and shouting at her, but I could hear sounds of someone being hit. I could hear her screaming and crying as he hit her again and again. (I was in my room, so this is what I’m assuming happened)  I was at a loss on what to do. If I went out there to stop him, I’d probably get hit too. The only thing to do was call the cops, which is what everyone on the apartment floor did. The sounds got so bad, that even the neighbours started ringing the doorbell and asking the boyfriend to open the door. He didn’t. He kept on screaming.

After a few minutes, things got quiet. I could still hear the screaming, but it sounded like it was getting further and further away. And then it started all over again. This went on for about 10-15 minutes. It felt much longer though. After a while, I could hear knocks on my room door, asking me to come out.

It was the police.

When I finally left  my room, the one thing I could see was the girlfriend, who had massive bruises, a bleeding head, and a very swollen forehead. She was crying hysterically and didn’t want to talk to me, or the police.The police took my statement and when I asked the police if they were going to take the boyfriend away, they said they were not going to. WTF?  I’m not well versed in Malaysian police or legal systems, but can anyone tell me why they didn’t lock him up for the night? They asked the girlfriend if she wanted to go to the hospital and she said no, so the police issued the couple a quick warning and they left.

And the most fucked up thing of all was the boyfriends reaction to the police. He was as charming as hell, laughing and joking with them, and even shaking hands with all of them as they left. I know abusers can appear charming as hell to the public when they want to, but to witness it first hand myself?

After the police left, I went back into my room, and as usual, locked my room door. I know how cowardly it may seem for me to have heard all the noise and to have not done anything to help, but tell me, would you have gotten in between an angry, 6 feet tall guy who was in a murderous rage?

Its the next day now. Things are quiet. I don’t know whats going to happen next, and if this is going to repeat itself. I hear them talking to each other, and going about their normal routines, laughing and talking. I want to speak to her, and tell her to get the fuck away from this guy, but how do I do that when he is constantly hovering?


Girls, if you’re reading this, please know that this is not okay. If a man can hit you once, he can do it again. He may apologize and beg for your forgiveness, and say that he will change, but please don’t go back to him. It may be hard to walk away from something like this, it may be fear or love that holding you back, but please do something for yourselves. I’m the last person to provide advice on this, but trust me when I say that DOMESTIC ABUSE IS NOT OKAY.

If you know anyone in this kind of situation, please contact the police or the Woman’s Aid Organization

Please share, reblog, and know that abuse can happen anywhere, anytime, even in front of your own eyes. As for me, I’m moving out.



12 thoughts on “Domestic Abuse in Malaysia. In My Own Home.

  1. OMG that’s horrible! 😦 😦 😦 why didn’t she leave him?? Have some dignity and save yourself a few scars and bruises, sticking up to violence for the sake of love is stupid 😡

  2. As a former abuser, I can attest to that. While it is possible to change, it is extremely difficult.

    People like these shouldn’t even be an option for smitten women, and neither should men walk down this path. Great post!

  3. Nicely written. I hope you’re emotionally okay by now. Domestic abuse is really not an option. I had a friend who got abused by her boyfriend so badly , he treated her like an animal chain her few days in a locked room. Then a group of malay friend went to ‘rescue’… the abuser is still roaming free on the streets. Its up to us as ladies to be wise on who we pick and befriend with…

    I hope your housemate will be sensible enough to leave this guy. Perhaps if its not too inconvenient… you should consider renting a different place as well.

    And hope that you’ll feel better soon. Im down with a bad viral infection… for almost a week now. Haha.. zzzz badan pantang nampak holiday

  4. I watched my mom get abused by my step father when I was growing up. As my mom get hit physically, I get hit emotionally. I am all against abusers, be it verbally, emotionally or physically. Call the cops the next time you hear this and there is an organization that also helps with abuses: and

    Also try talk to your female room mate to find out what happened. Seeing so many movies, it could also be her (something wrong in the head) banging herself in the room with the boyfriend trying to stop her by smacking her to reality.

    • Hi Tammy.. I had a quick chat with her today, once the boyfriend left. It seems that this has been happening for a long time, and that they guy has a history of flying into fits of rages. Apparently, he has managed to alienate her completely from her family and friends, and that she even scared to talk to him sometimes. I told her to tell her parents about this, and to lodge an official report as well. I hope things do turn out for the best for her. And that guy deserves all the bad karma coming his way.

  5. Domestic violence happening all over in Malaysia. It’s just abused ladies are not coming in front bravely to lodge a report/complaint to the authority. Well versed statement from you.

  6. This is so horrible and scary! Don’t feel guilty for your actions, you did the best that you could at that moment. You couldn’t really do anything else in that situation.

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