I’m back after a 4 day hiatus!
Where have I been? Visiting le boyf, who currently lives 350 km away from me 😦 Which bring me to today’s topic, surviving a long distance relationship (LDR).
If you’ve never been in an LDR, lucky you 🙂 But for those of us who are in one, the distance sometimes is unbearable, and on those few days where you need a good hug, cry, or even to celebrate something, you are alone.
Yeah, you have friends and family around, but that special someone is special for a reason right?
This is how I feel about him most times.
Now, I’m no relationship expert, and definitely not one to be spouting out relationship advice to the masses, but considering that I’ve been with le boyf for almost 4 years now, and doing it long distance, I can certainly give out one or two, or maybe 5 tips to make the distance seem all that better.
Read up for my personal experiences and tips.
*All pictures are not mine unless stated.
Top Tip 1: Communication
Yes, the dreaded C word . Everyone will tell you, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, and for a good reason. Even with having a partner who you see on a daily basis, you sometimes have petty fights, arguments, and all sorts of relationship drama. Tell me that isn’t true? If your partner is right beside you, you can bake a cake, make a lovely dinner, buy them a gift, talk things out, and everyone is happy.
An LDR? Its easy to reject a call, ignore that text/email/snapchat/whatsapp or whatever it is that people do on their phones nowadays. Its easier to not voice it out and ignore the problem. Hence communication. If there is a problem, talk about it, find a solution. No point ignoring someone you love now is there?
Personal Experience? I’ve gotten into massive arguments with the boyf for the stupidest of reasons over the past 4 years, not speaking to each other, sullen phone conversations, but nowadays, we rarely have any drama thanks to some understanding, (mostly from his part lol), ground rules, and a whole lot of of communication. Thank god our phone calls/Skype is free or I’d be paying through my nose!
Top Tip 2: Make Time
This obviously related to Tip 1 , because without making time for your partner, when would you communicate? Its easy to get caught up in your daily activities, work, school, and the million things you do in a day, but the most important thing is to find that short, quiet moment to just talk, chat, stare at each others eyes (if that your thing, no judging). Not making time for each other signifies that you’re not trying anymore, and sooner or later, you might just find yourselves drifting apart.
Take a quick moment to text them, call them and ask how their day is going, Skype your partner to show them what you got at the shopping mall today, simple things like that make a HUGE difference in keeping your lives connected!
Make sure you’re making time for them as often as you can . Making time every day is the main way to stay connected and to basically say ‘Hey, I’m thinking you” .
You barely see each other in an LDR, so put some effort to spend some time with your partner, clear your schedule, forget everything but that person who is on the other line who loves you. Its okay to be cheesy, tell them a good joke you heard today, make them laugh 🙂
Personal Experience: I’ve sent out more cheesy texts, links, calls than I care to admit & I’ve also spent countless nights waiting up just to say goodnight, or just to hear his voice before I sleep.I’m not campaigning sleeplessness, but I honestly cant sleep without talking to him these days.
Top Tip 3: Frequent visits
Whats the point in all that communication if you never see each other? Plan trips, holidays, a weekend together. The trip doesn’t have to be expensive, all you need is some flexibility, planning in advance and work with the cards you’ve been dealt.
Enjoy every bit of time you have with your partner, and don’t sweat the small stuff that happens over the trip.
Dinner reservations got cancelled? Get take out, stay in and cuddle.
Forgot to get the cinema tickets? Watch some Netflix. Or reruns of your favourite show.
See what I mean? Go with the flow. 🙂
And the best part about not seeing each other for the longest time?
Personal Experience: We used to see each other at least every 2 weeks once , but with work and everything now, we only get to see each other a month once. But it does feel good to see him after such a long time, and to give him all that hugs and kisses I’ve been saving up! ❤
Top Tip 4: Discuss your future
Lets be real. How long can anyone deal with an LDR? Set a time frame, a future plan for where you will be in 5 years time. Are you moving in together, getting married? Is one of you ready to move? Leave a job, a life behind for your partner? Think about that for a moment.
Personal Experience: We’ve talked about a few plans, most of them involving moving in, and getting our own place and I’ve given myself one year to sort the whole thing out. We’ll see what happens! *Glasses raised to my future with him*
Top Tip 5: Don’t give up
LDR’s are tough. Temptation is everywhere, and being alone doesn’t help the situation. Different time-zones, hectic schedules, a million things can make a relationship harder than it already is, and sometimes all you wanna do is stop trying. If you really love your partner, and you see a tangible future with them, keep trying. Make that effort. Keep holding on through the tough times. It will be worth it.
Personal Experience: We’ve been through some really rough patches and a lot of bad times.We’ve managed to work things out, and we’re stronger than ever right now. Gone are the days when some random stranger trying to drive a wedge succeeds, gone are the days where mistrust lay abundant, & gone are the days where we take each other for granted.Whats left is a rock solid partnership, held together by trust, love, kindness, and a whole lot of humour! 😀
Take my advice with a pinch of salt and glitter, and tell me in the comments, how do YOU survive an LDR?