Fears & Demons

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Hey guys. I’ve been meaning to write about this for a very long time, but because its such a close and personal topic to heart, I’ve been avoiding the subject entirely. Fears aren’t something we reveal freely, and even when we do, its to very few people, with much hesitation. Mine is only known to myself and my other half, & has been discussed in length over the years. I guess it time I finally talk about it and hope writing about it gives me some form of acceptance and solution.

I have a fear of driving.

Now that sounds simple enough doesn’t it? Just start a damn car, and drive it. How difficult could that be? Well, see below, and you’ll understand that it’s not THAT easy.

Symptoms include: Trembling, sweating, accelerated pulse, loss of sense of reality, and thoughts of losing control while driving, even in situations that are reasonably safe. This fear will cause many to avoid driving, create excuses to not drive, or even refuse to get a driver’s license for years.

I do have a real driver’s license, and I have driven before, with no fear whatsoever. Nowadays, I make excuses to not drive, and I have mini panic thoughts every time someone asks me to drive. When I do actually drive, I feel like I could black out anytime. I never tremble, not even when speaking in front of hundreds of people, but put me in the driver’s seat, and you’ll see me actually shaking. Thankfully I haven’t lost my sense of reality lol.

Freaked-Out-Driver-In-Cyanide-Happiness-Gif-Comic

Why you may ask?

A while ago, 4 years ago, I met with an accident. Wasn’t a serious one, and I didn’t even have a scratch on me, but the ordeal was bad enough to turn me away from driving. I remember having nightmares after the accident, and I couldn’t sleep well for weeks. The reason I’m writing about my fear now is that I have a car now. It doesn’t belong to me, but it is mine to use anytime, anywhere. But its outside, collecting dust, rust, dirt and just being useless despite being a nice, shiny new car. Why should I let a great car go to waste simply because of my fear?

I’ve been forcing myself to drive the car, but every time I pick up the car keys, my heart feel likes it going to claw its way out of my chest. Dramatic, but true.

I-have-no-idea-what-I-am-doing

Its embarrassing, somewhat shameful, and downright frustrating sometimes. I mean, I have a car but I can’t drive it? WTF. I feel its unfair, because I can do anything in this world (including bungee jumping and cliff diving), but I can’t even do something as simple as driving a car. Moving past the ranting, to counter my phobia, I’ve been taking short drives, and trying to just feel and be “one with the car” as my other half would say lol, so wish me luck guys! Lets hope I can be zipping around town sometime soon. Hope it doesn’t take long.

Do tell me if you have faced any kind of fear, and if you managed to overcome it and how. Comments will be much appreciated, so do share your personal struggle with your inner demons. 😀

xoxo,
Shashay

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5 thoughts on “Fears & Demons

  1. Hey..I kinda know how you feel, I got into a car accident last year, thankfully I wasn’t hurt but it was a pretty bad accident because the front right tyre of my car exploded. It put me off driving for a while (about a year), but I was lucky because I was in an area where public transport was very reliable. Now that I’ve moved back to my hometown where public transport is pretty much non-existent, I had to force myself to drive. I was a bit hesitant at first but then I soon realised that not being able to drive made it pretty much impossible to get anywhere. I still get nervous when I have to drive in busy roads. I also try not to drive alone and have someone in the passenger seat with me. Just take baby steps, it will take some time but you will be able to drive again.

    • Oh no! I complete understand your situation, being in the same shoes and all. Its weird how something so small can affect us so badly, no? Hope you manage to overcome your inner demons too 🙂 Much love from me..

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